I would love to be there! <3 p="">

When your saddest fear comes creeping in, that you never loved me or her or anyone or anything.... 

Happy Monday everyone! 

Day started out okay with DC, I like being with Sophie and Dayang. When Vasantha is there, I get a little awkward idk why. ENT did some group bonding time and I'm really sad C&C are coming to an end because I'm starting to open up to them. I really love Venus as my groupmate because her attitude makes me want to be like her, very nice and patient and understanding and just positive no matter what. TCC had lesson and sang some songs. After school met Pek, Arina and Luqman and went J8 to eat. Had a super great catch up session with them and omg I just couldn't contain myself, there was so much to say, to much to tell them and I was just beaming throughout the entire time. I truly miss hanging out with them. I've missed Arina's angelic attitude and Luqman's dance when he wants to eat and of course Pek's hilarious comments. And of course, I've missed the attention given to my thumbs hahaha hope to hang out with them soon, I miss them toooo much.

"When you meet the one you will know what it's like to love him every day and although you say now that the thought of being with someone forever is boring, you will know the truth when the time comes." Naww parents are the sweetest in the world

You are still my friend, no matter what. I won't lie and say I'm not angry, I am. I won't lie and say I didn't cry because I did. I'm weak when it comes to this. Because you know well that guilt always ends up eating me up. I won't lie that I regretted telling you off. Just now was too much. What do you expect. When we talked, you were looking at your phone. You were TWEETING while we were talking it out. My fcking god, what is wrong with you. We wanted to find a solution and in order to do that, we have to communicate and agree on things. You expect us to what? Say "Oh we're sorry, we won't talk to the other cliques anymore, we'll be with you three even during those times you three try to avoid us because you wanna talk about your problems." or should we say, "Okay we will stop talking to the other cliques just because you hate them." You can't control us, you don't control us. I know how you feel because I know you don't like them but guess what, I don't. You say we're falling into their traps, we're going to be going over to them. But you're wrong because first of all, we know who we are and we don't belong with them. Second thing, we don't go around joining other people's clique and forgetting about ours, who do you think we are? Oh my god. 

And then when I blew it because you were making no sense while we were talking it out and called your immature that's when you want to get mad. Do you know what other people are saying? Do you know how all of this is embarrassing? You say you're not sensitive but what the hell is all this then? If you'd just kept quiet and tried to make an effort in getting to know them then maybe this wouldn't happen. You say they hate you and the others, you know why? Because they tried to be friendly to all of you but none of you ever gave them a chance. I want to save us, all of us, us six we were supposed to be one. People are talking now and do you know what they're saying? They're saying we are better off without you because whenever they see us it looks like we're not having fun, it looks like we're always left out. But I want us to stay together because no matter the hard times, we've had some pretty good times together. There's too much memories to let go. Please think about it and when you're ready maybe this time we can really talk it out, no phones, no eye rolls.  Lay it all out and we'll see what we can do. 

I hope for happiness for all of us, together or not.

Happy Wednesday to everyone except me.
When your morning starts off so good, with a really charming and cheeky baby coming to you and giving their love to you, a hot guy you just know he's genuinely really nice who keeps having eye contact with you and getting to stand opposite of THE Bishan hottie and admiring his fine muscle in his really tight black polo shirt, something will go wrong for sure. Honestly I knew that the moment that baby came to me. I wish you knew how sorry that I've made you feel this way and I wish you knew how you're wrong and how we're not going anywhere. 

School... Sighs. 

It's only what? Coming to third week? And assignments have been driving me crazy. I have soo much to do that just thinking about it makes me laugh. I mean... Who could have thought, ite could be this stressful. The new campus has too many freakin boys that I told both my teachers and my parents that they don't have to worry about me liking anymore because it's gonna take a miracle for me to see the same person twice. The teachers have been so overprotective it's kinda driving me crazy. Just a simple knock on the the class's window, my teacher will go out and scold them. It's good but idk sometimes it's just better to leave it alone. I love the new seatings, Natasha's clique are in front this time and they're so freaking hilarious I swear. I like how this term, I'm closer to them. Natasha and Dayang are forever disturbing me and Fizah and it's so fun whenever they seat or talk with us. I find myself laughing more with them than with my own clique so that is kinda weird. But I guess that's only because we rarely spend time together anymore. Because during breaks, three of us are walking around the school while me and the other two are seating with the other clique outside class because we hate people lol. Okay, here's to more blog updates, new friends, busy times and a miracle for me to freakin like someone. Let's go. :) 

"Starting together, ending together."

There we go again, same old shit, same old story. What are we never one. Why are we spending time apart. Why am I drifting away from you. We've started together, why can't we end together. 

What happens when someone says something about you, something bad, and you know that's not the truth and you try to fix it up but you end up hating yourself more and regretting everything. "Doesn't take the initiative to do anything..." Really? Because I remembered doing everything that I was supposed to do. I remembered re-doing your work, redoing other's work when they gave shitty work. When I did something, when I gave ideas and the teachers praised, you never gave me any credit but I kept quiet because I don't mind. I may be quiet but I was always there, I helped more than I talked and you still said I did nothing. What about those times we stayed back, what about those times I stayed till late night with you., what about those times I helped when the others couldn't do their work. What hurts even more is that I thought we were starting to get along. Your words hurt me, it took me days to figure out where I went wrong. And I figured it out... You know what, starting from now, I'm not giving you chances. I'll prove to you. Do nothing my ass. I've been contributing and all you've been is blind. 

I'm glad this holiday felt like a really good one. You know how some holidays all you wanna do is go back to school. This holiday made me want more and more holidays. I loved how everyday was spent laughing away with my family. I found out (weirdly enough) I don't have a problem anymore with my mum talking orders. I look forward to helping her actually. My mum finds it weird too but nyeh... I don't know. Sometimes when there's no orders, it just feels plain. My laptop have died a week ago (R.I.P baby that have been there for me since secondary 1.) and I have to use the huge computer so that sucks. My dad and I have been talking a lot and I realize I love him too much that if something ever happens to him, I don't think I can even live. My brother have started secondary school and it's kind of sad because as each day passes, I'm saying goodbye to the young boy. He's going to be so grown up soon, we won't be talking about childish things, soon it's gonna be adult things like, "Did you pay mum's bills?" or "How's work going along." As a sister I'm proud but I'm scared too for him.Throughout the holidays, the girls (both fsquareans and MOOBs) have been so entertaining on whatsapp. I cannot live without them and I'm so thankful I have them in my life. ICA, I do miss ICA very much and I found myself asking questions about my assignments to people like Fathiah, Ayuni, Natasha, Nabisha. People I've never talked to. I'm glad they're so welcoming and friendly and I'm so thankful they're my classmates. I've been reading a lot too. Some books I've read during the holidays are, Good girls don't, bad boys do, real men will, by Victoria Dahl which was super amazing. Because of Low by Abbi Glines a good one too. Hopeless by Colleen Hoover which was also super super amazing. Playing for keeps and Perfection by R.L mathewson were also very good. Kinda smutty but the characters are hilarious and loveable. What else what else... I think that's it I guess. My holidays have been filled with fun times with my family mostly. When you feel that you're not loved, you can always count on your family to love you. 

Whaddup guys. 

Been too long since I blogged. I'm sorry, holidays have been spent slacking, helping out my mum with her endless orders and going out with the girls. I am dissapointed with myself that I didn't make time for the high five gang. I don't them to be thinking I'v changed. It's just that, the whole travelling from north to east is really tiring and long and boring and when I go there, I really wanna do something fun and great not just watch a movie or just meet to eat. I travel there for 40minutes plus and you expect just to do that. At least we're all going to be in the same school next year but I bet nothing is going to change. If we see each other we'd just smile and move on, not stop to talk, no inside jokes. Sometimes I hate separation. Sometimes, separation shows you people's true colours, even your own. 

I would love to be there! <3 p="">

When your saddest fear comes creeping in, that you never loved me or her or anyone or anything.... 

Happy Monday everyone! 

Day started out okay with DC, I like being with Sophie and Dayang. When Vasantha is there, I get a little awkward idk why. ENT did some group bonding time and I'm really sad C&C are coming to an end because I'm starting to open up to them. I really love Venus as my groupmate because her attitude makes me want to be like her, very nice and patient and understanding and just positive no matter what. TCC had lesson and sang some songs. After school met Pek, Arina and Luqman and went J8 to eat. Had a super great catch up session with them and omg I just couldn't contain myself, there was so much to say, to much to tell them and I was just beaming throughout the entire time. I truly miss hanging out with them. I've missed Arina's angelic attitude and Luqman's dance when he wants to eat and of course Pek's hilarious comments. And of course, I've missed the attention given to my thumbs hahaha hope to hang out with them soon, I miss them toooo much.

"When you meet the one you will know what it's like to love him every day and although you say now that the thought of being with someone forever is boring, you will know the truth when the time comes." Naww parents are the sweetest in the world

You are still my friend, no matter what. I won't lie and say I'm not angry, I am. I won't lie and say I didn't cry because I did. I'm weak when it comes to this. Because you know well that guilt always ends up eating me up. I won't lie that I regretted telling you off. Just now was too much. What do you expect. When we talked, you were looking at your phone. You were TWEETING while we were talking it out. My fcking god, what is wrong with you. We wanted to find a solution and in order to do that, we have to communicate and agree on things. You expect us to what? Say "Oh we're sorry, we won't talk to the other cliques anymore, we'll be with you three even during those times you three try to avoid us because you wanna talk about your problems." or should we say, "Okay we will stop talking to the other cliques just because you hate them." You can't control us, you don't control us. I know how you feel because I know you don't like them but guess what, I don't. You say we're falling into their traps, we're going to be going over to them. But you're wrong because first of all, we know who we are and we don't belong with them. Second thing, we don't go around joining other people's clique and forgetting about ours, who do you think we are? Oh my god. 

And then when I blew it because you were making no sense while we were talking it out and called your immature that's when you want to get mad. Do you know what other people are saying? Do you know how all of this is embarrassing? You say you're not sensitive but what the hell is all this then? If you'd just kept quiet and tried to make an effort in getting to know them then maybe this wouldn't happen. You say they hate you and the others, you know why? Because they tried to be friendly to all of you but none of you ever gave them a chance. I want to save us, all of us, us six we were supposed to be one. People are talking now and do you know what they're saying? They're saying we are better off without you because whenever they see us it looks like we're not having fun, it looks like we're always left out. But I want us to stay together because no matter the hard times, we've had some pretty good times together. There's too much memories to let go. Please think about it and when you're ready maybe this time we can really talk it out, no phones, no eye rolls.  Lay it all out and we'll see what we can do. 

I hope for happiness for all of us, together or not.

Happy Wednesday to everyone except me.
When your morning starts off so good, with a really charming and cheeky baby coming to you and giving their love to you, a hot guy you just know he's genuinely really nice who keeps having eye contact with you and getting to stand opposite of THE Bishan hottie and admiring his fine muscle in his really tight black polo shirt, something will go wrong for sure. Honestly I knew that the moment that baby came to me. I wish you knew how sorry that I've made you feel this way and I wish you knew how you're wrong and how we're not going anywhere. 

School... Sighs. 

It's only what? Coming to third week? And assignments have been driving me crazy. I have soo much to do that just thinking about it makes me laugh. I mean... Who could have thought, ite could be this stressful. The new campus has too many freakin boys that I told both my teachers and my parents that they don't have to worry about me liking anymore because it's gonna take a miracle for me to see the same person twice. The teachers have been so overprotective it's kinda driving me crazy. Just a simple knock on the the class's window, my teacher will go out and scold them. It's good but idk sometimes it's just better to leave it alone. I love the new seatings, Natasha's clique are in front this time and they're so freaking hilarious I swear. I like how this term, I'm closer to them. Natasha and Dayang are forever disturbing me and Fizah and it's so fun whenever they seat or talk with us. I find myself laughing more with them than with my own clique so that is kinda weird. But I guess that's only because we rarely spend time together anymore. Because during breaks, three of us are walking around the school while me and the other two are seating with the other clique outside class because we hate people lol. Okay, here's to more blog updates, new friends, busy times and a miracle for me to freakin like someone. Let's go. :) 

"Starting together, ending together."

There we go again, same old shit, same old story. What are we never one. Why are we spending time apart. Why am I drifting away from you. We've started together, why can't we end together. 

What happens when someone says something about you, something bad, and you know that's not the truth and you try to fix it up but you end up hating yourself more and regretting everything. "Doesn't take the initiative to do anything..." Really? Because I remembered doing everything that I was supposed to do. I remembered re-doing your work, redoing other's work when they gave shitty work. When I did something, when I gave ideas and the teachers praised, you never gave me any credit but I kept quiet because I don't mind. I may be quiet but I was always there, I helped more than I talked and you still said I did nothing. What about those times we stayed back, what about those times I stayed till late night with you., what about those times I helped when the others couldn't do their work. What hurts even more is that I thought we were starting to get along. Your words hurt me, it took me days to figure out where I went wrong. And I figured it out... You know what, starting from now, I'm not giving you chances. I'll prove to you. Do nothing my ass. I've been contributing and all you've been is blind. 

I'm glad this holiday felt like a really good one. You know how some holidays all you wanna do is go back to school. This holiday made me want more and more holidays. I loved how everyday was spent laughing away with my family. I found out (weirdly enough) I don't have a problem anymore with my mum talking orders. I look forward to helping her actually. My mum finds it weird too but nyeh... I don't know. Sometimes when there's no orders, it just feels plain. My laptop have died a week ago (R.I.P baby that have been there for me since secondary 1.) and I have to use the huge computer so that sucks. My dad and I have been talking a lot and I realize I love him too much that if something ever happens to him, I don't think I can even live. My brother have started secondary school and it's kind of sad because as each day passes, I'm saying goodbye to the young boy. He's going to be so grown up soon, we won't be talking about childish things, soon it's gonna be adult things like, "Did you pay mum's bills?" or "How's work going along." As a sister I'm proud but I'm scared too for him.Throughout the holidays, the girls (both fsquareans and MOOBs) have been so entertaining on whatsapp. I cannot live without them and I'm so thankful I have them in my life. ICA, I do miss ICA very much and I found myself asking questions about my assignments to people like Fathiah, Ayuni, Natasha, Nabisha. People I've never talked to. I'm glad they're so welcoming and friendly and I'm so thankful they're my classmates. I've been reading a lot too. Some books I've read during the holidays are, Good girls don't, bad boys do, real men will, by Victoria Dahl which was super amazing. Because of Low by Abbi Glines a good one too. Hopeless by Colleen Hoover which was also super super amazing. Playing for keeps and Perfection by R.L mathewson were also very good. Kinda smutty but the characters are hilarious and loveable. What else what else... I think that's it I guess. My holidays have been filled with fun times with my family mostly. When you feel that you're not loved, you can always count on your family to love you. 

Whaddup guys. 

Been too long since I blogged. I'm sorry, holidays have been spent slacking, helping out my mum with her endless orders and going out with the girls. I am dissapointed with myself that I didn't make time for the high five gang. I don't them to be thinking I'v changed. It's just that, the whole travelling from north to east is really tiring and long and boring and when I go there, I really wanna do something fun and great not just watch a movie or just meet to eat. I travel there for 40minutes plus and you expect just to do that. At least we're all going to be in the same school next year but I bet nothing is going to change. If we see each other we'd just smile and move on, not stop to talk, no inside jokes. Sometimes I hate separation. Sometimes, separation shows you people's true colours, even your own.