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Thursday, May 30, 2013
Confession time:
1. TAC due date is in another 2 weeks and I'm still forever stuck on my 5th work. (I'm dead.)
2. I'm so tired of school I need a break.
3. I am no longer funny and I totally have forgotten how to take pictures.
4. I have completely no life.
5. I'm avoiding people because they deserve better.
6. A lot of people are getting annoyed with me and my habit of not replying to their messages.
7. I am worried (so very worried) about my group because it seems like I'm the only serious one. (Then again, aren't I forever serious?)
8. All my girls are contacting guys except me.
9. I have seriously no interest in guys nowadays which is worrying because I really cannot find myself liking anyone anymore. & I feel so scared. I don't know why, I just do. So scared of being alone forever, of being mocked at by my friends who have boys, so scared of losing myself if I ever like a guy, so scared of being the last lonely one.
10. I'm the only one in fsqareans who doesn't know about the girl's boys in their life and when I asked, they won't tell me so I'm feeling a little annoyed but then again, I am rarely there so I guess it's fine.
11. I don't feel like I belong to anywhere anymore. (Even with ICA.)
12. I get uncomfortable really easily nowadays.
13. I laugh when I wake up before my alarm nowadays. I must be losing my mind.
14. I left my soul in the meeting room at green block last few weeks.
15. I'm starting to like kpop but I only know the old groups like 2pm, mblaq, shinee, super junior and snsd. This, thanks to running man.
16. The girls don't talk on fsquareans anymore and I miss them but at the same time, even when they do talk, I don't reply.
17. I miss pek and the others too but nobody seems to care.
18. I need to move on.
19. I just realized that moobs = man boobs. We've been calling ourselves man boobs.
20. I get very emotional when I think about the girls and my friends.
21. I pity pizza for having a friend like me.
22. I know that if I continue being so distant, people will eventually get tired of me.
23. This is karma for everything bad I have done in life and I keep telling myself I deserve this.
24. Back when we were picking groups, I didn't tell anyone this but I cried a lot during that period of time. I felt that in life, if you are not talented or smart, no matter how hardworking you are, nobody will want you ..even your friends because when it comes to success, it's a solo thing. & I was asking myself weren't friends supposed to accept each other's good and bad, share the success together? I know we separated because we didn't want to involve friendship with our studies but I guess I was just so confused with everything and mad at myself for being so useless.
25. During the first few lessons of TAC, I purposefully sat alone because seating with my friends made me feel terrible because both of them are super good in their art and I felt so zero seating with them and doing our artwork.
25. I think I will cry during my birthday.
26. I don't know how I'm gonna be in charge of twenty people.
27. I sincerely think ECH teachers are like our mothers and I love Miss A for being unbiased. It feels nice to be treated equally for someone who isn't a teacher's pet.
28. Even though I'm not close to my friends anymore, I'm so much more closer to my family and home really is the best place for me.
29. I'm thankful for my friendship with Pizza though it feels like deja vu. The very same kind of friendship with telur. It's weird but I appreciate it.
30. I don't have the 18 feeling this year .... I feel 81.
"Of the many contradictions that exist in the world, the contrast between love and hate is perhaps the starkest. It is one that helps us value true love while understanding the ramifications of hatred."
"A life without love is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring."
