Being someone that they could rely on and look up to, being wanted and respected, this is what it feels like. It's the greatest feeling in the world when you're the reason behind their smiles.

201four! (the no four on my laptop is spoil.) 

It's officially my second post for this blog for this year! Wow. This is how much I've grown. From being the pathetic secondary school girl to the still nerdy 19 years old girl. How fast time flies. I've officially ended ITE life. If you ask me how those two years had been for me, I'm not going to lie and tell you that i had the best two years of my life. My two years in ITE... How do I even describe it? It was bittersweet. I'm just going to say that's all there is. I keep thinking what'd happen if I'd join this or that course so I guess in the end I wasn't really satisfied with my ITE course.

And so here I am now, waiting for my poly results in another two more days. I'm afraid but I already know what I'm going to get. I'm confused and I'm lost. I want to continue the course that I took in ITE but it pains me every time when I think about all that effort being put in and then getting a GPA not even close to perfection. Sometimes because of all of this, I just want to stay away from children as far as possible and sometimes I just want to prove the whole world wrong. 

It's been three years since O's. Three years and I'm still deciding what I want to do for the rest of my life. Why can't I make a decision? I'm just scared. What I don't want to be a teacher? What if I don't want to be a writer? What if I end up jobless? So many what if's. I'm 19 this year and I still cannot make a decision for myself.

Sometimes when you think you've grown, you really haven't.

It's been awhile hasn't it? 

After realizing what my DP is for this account, I realize something. Something so painful and heartbreaking. My pictures are always with someone. But whenever I come back here, a few years later or a few months later, I am no longer in contact with the person I'm smiling with in those pictures. Why? I ask myself everyday. Have I done something wrong or have I just been meeting the wrong people all this while? People come and people go. That's what I choose to believe now. I just don't even want to care anymore knowing that one day everyone just drifts apart.

Being someone that they could rely on and look up to, being wanted and respected, this is what it feels like. It's the greatest feeling in the world when you're the reason behind their smiles.

201four! (the no four on my laptop is spoil.) 

It's officially my second post for this blog for this year! Wow. This is how much I've grown. From being the pathetic secondary school girl to the still nerdy 19 years old girl. How fast time flies. I've officially ended ITE life. If you ask me how those two years had been for me, I'm not going to lie and tell you that i had the best two years of my life. My two years in ITE... How do I even describe it? It was bittersweet. I'm just going to say that's all there is. I keep thinking what'd happen if I'd join this or that course so I guess in the end I wasn't really satisfied with my ITE course.

And so here I am now, waiting for my poly results in another two more days. I'm afraid but I already know what I'm going to get. I'm confused and I'm lost. I want to continue the course that I took in ITE but it pains me every time when I think about all that effort being put in and then getting a GPA not even close to perfection. Sometimes because of all of this, I just want to stay away from children as far as possible and sometimes I just want to prove the whole world wrong. 

It's been three years since O's. Three years and I'm still deciding what I want to do for the rest of my life. Why can't I make a decision? I'm just scared. What I don't want to be a teacher? What if I don't want to be a writer? What if I end up jobless? So many what if's. I'm 19 this year and I still cannot make a decision for myself.

Sometimes when you think you've grown, you really haven't.

It's been awhile hasn't it? 

After realizing what my DP is for this account, I realize something. Something so painful and heartbreaking. My pictures are always with someone. But whenever I come back here, a few years later or a few months later, I am no longer in contact with the person I'm smiling with in those pictures. Why? I ask myself everyday. Have I done something wrong or have I just been meeting the wrong people all this while? People come and people go. That's what I choose to believe now. I just don't even want to care anymore knowing that one day everyone just drifts apart.